12/24/2007

So there's about a week of 2007 left, and traditionally, I should be taking a trip down memory lane or something along those lines. This year, I thought I'd really like to do something different. (Though it's still as cliched. xD) And it's not on New Year's Day, unlike other years because we're having a sleepover at Ellie's and I figured I'd rather do this now, than then because I've just cleaned up my room (almost) completely and am ready for a brand new start. (xD)

Earlier last week, we had the last free period of the year, and our crew got chased out of the common room in the Sixth Form Centre cos the Upper Sixth (JC2) were rehearsing for Sixth Form Entertainment. So we sneaked into a small room round the side they weren't using, and had a little party. Towards the end, Sarah came up with the idea of doing little "speeches" individually, to kind of sum up the year - what they thought of Tiffin so far, what 2007 was like, and stuff. So we went around in a circle, and when it got to my turn, I started off the same way everyone did, saying how amazing 2007 had been (it really really has - one of, if not THE best years, ever! Despite obstacles) and then stopped, and it kind of really dawned on me, how much I didn't want to do that. I mean, it was the most faaaaantastic year, ever, I just didn't want to look back on it that much.

Recently I've been re-reading past journal entries, both online and in my little notebook, and I realised just how much of a roller-coaster it has been, and sometimes, I forget about feeling a certain way even just a couple of days before until I read those entries. And I mean, these things are in the past, and I want to keep a record of them, but I just didn't want to look back anymore. There've been so many ups and downs in the past year, it's been absolutely crazy, and all the growing up we've all done has been unbelievable, and really worth reflecting on, but yeah, I just had this feeling that if I did that for one more second, I'd burst. So

I switched sentence mid-way and was like, you know what? I have no idea what I'm gonna do with my life from here, I have no idea what the future's going to hold - some of my best friends know exactly where they want to be 5 years from now, I haven't got a clue even to who I really am. But I don't really care, because despite the whole uncertainty and how completely petrified I am about graduating and moving on into the future, 2008 (and the rest) also promises to be very, very fun and possibly, very very fulfilling. It's whatever we want it to be, and whether the past year was good or bad, we can only change what hasn't happened yet, and that means remembering the good times while looking forward, and learning from them, as well as past mistakes. I have no idea what's going to happen, all I know is that there'll be good times ahead. And all we can do is sit tight, and let our imagination run free.

That's all I'm asking for this year. Maybe it's too much Cold Mountain and Inman and Ada's search for redemption is totally getting to me too much, but I just hope that in 2008, I will make every second count. Merry Christmas & Happy New Year everyone!

(P.S. it's 1.34am exactly, andddddd I'll probably read this tomorrow and find how exactly incoherent I am. Sorry laaaaaaaa xD)

:D
1:18 AM